When “50/50” Isn’t Really 50/50: Common Custody Misconceptions in Minnesota
“We’ve always shared the kids 50/50, so I automatically have equal custody rights.”
Many parents are surprised to learn that what has happened in practice and what exists legally can be two very different things. Understanding the distinction can help parents avoid costly mistakes and make informed decisions about their children.
Legal Custody vs. Physical Custody
In Minnesota, custody is divided into two separate categories:
Legal Custody
Legal custody refers to the right to make major decisions for a child, including:
- Education
- Medical care
- Religious upbringing
- Mental health treatment
Many parents share joint legal custody, meaning they must work together on these important decisions.
Physical Custody
Physical custody refers to the routine daily care of the child and where the child primarily resides.
A parent can have:
- Sole physical custody
- Joint physical custody
- A parenting time schedule that functions similarly to joint physical custody
The label matters less than many people think, but it can still have legal implications in certain situations.
Myth #1:
“We’ve Been Doing 50/50, So We Have Joint Custody.”
Not necessarily.
Many unmarried parents are surprised to learn that if no court order exists, the mother may have sole custody rights under Minnesota law until a court establishes custody and parenting time.
Likewise, divorced parents sometimes operate under an informal schedule that differs significantly from the court order.
If a disagreement arises, the court generally looks first to the existing order—not necessarily the arrangement that has developed informally.
Myth #2:
“My Child Wants to Live With Me, So the Court Will Change Custody.”
A child’s preference may be considered, particularly as the child gets older, but it is only one factor among many.
Minnesota courts focus on the best interests of the child, not simply which parent the child prefers at a given moment. Those best interest factors are found:
https://www.revisor.mn.gov/statutes/cite/518.17
There is no specific age at which a child gets to decide where they live.
Myth #3:
“If the Other Parent Violates the Order, Custody Automatically Changes.”
A custody modification is rarely automatic.
Even when a parent violates a court order, the court typically requires evidence that a change would be in the child’s best interests before modifying custody.
Depending on the circumstances, the court may:
- Order makeup parenting time
- Require mediation
- Impose sanctions
- Modify parenting provisions
- Consider a custody modification
Each case is highly fact-specific.
Myth #4:
“The Court Cares Which Parent Is the Better Parent.”
Not necessarily.
Many unmarried parents are surprised to learn that if no court order exists, the mother may have sole custody rights under Minnesota law until a court establishes custody and parenting time.
Likewise, divorced parents sometimes operate under an informal schedule that differs significantly from the court order.
If a disagreement arises, the court generally looks first to the existing order—not necessarily the arrangement that has developed informally.
What Should Parents Do?
Whether you are going through a divorce, establishing custody for the first time, or dealing with post-decree parenting disputes, it is important to understand your legal rights before making assumptions based on what has been happening informally.
Every family situation is unique. What works for one family may not work for another.
The most effective custody arrangements are often those that focus less on parental conflict and more on the child’s needs, stability, and future success.
Need Help With a Custody or Parenting Time Issue?
The attorneys at Jeddeloh Snyder Stommes, P.A. represent parents throughout Central Minnesota in custody, parenting time, child support, divorce, paternity, and post-decree matters.
If you have questions about your rights or would like to discuss your specific situation, contact our office to schedule a consultation.
Serving families throughout Central Minnesota, including Stearns, Benton, Sherburne, Wright, Morrison, and Todd Counties.
Minnesota Law Articles
Child Support and Child Custody Know How
We believe parents should feel that their children are being completely supported with child support, child custody, and parenting time. Be sure you know your rights, before life takes an unexpected turn.What You Should Know About Child Support & Child Custody...
Jeddeloh Snyder Stommes - Experienced, Compassionate
St Cloud MN Attorneys
Call today for your consultation!
St. Cloud (320) 240-9423
Big Lake (763) 262-2889
Cold Spring (320) 348-2001